Evil Bird Mutants!

As I walked into work this morning, I heard the terrifying caw of an enormous bird circling the sky above me. I looked up to see a decent sized seagull. The sound it emitted made it seem much larger than it actually was. When I heard that noise, a memory was triggered in me. I was reminded of the stories of the evil Crowzilla, a beast of a bird that resided at the naval nuclear reactor prototypes in New York State.

Many rumors surrounded the existence of Crowzilla. A giant crow unlike anything most people have ever seen, Crowzilla stories were often utilized as a way to terrorize feeble-minded students and to help pass the time on the midnight watches. People have stated that they have seen the bird but the details often change. Crowzilla has been known to reside underneath the reactors of MARF and S8G (the names of the two prototype reactors) and on top of the giant D1G sphere. It has a wing span of 10-25 feet or more! The bird has been sighted stealing the food and hats of students and staff alike while in mid-flight. Crowzilla has gigantic feet, a razor sharp beak, huge talons, a deformed head, red eyes, etc. Obviously there is no consistency in the stories of Crowzilla. This leads one to doubt its very existence!

During my time stationed in New York, both as a student and as a staff member, I have seen several very large crows flying around the site, cawing at me as I walk by. I am certain that these crows are the source of the Crowzilla stories. Is there large size caused by nuclear radiation? That is very unlikely. If Crowzilla and its hellspawn did nest under the reactor compartments of the prototypes, they would not survive. The areas underneath the prototypes are unshielded from radiation while the reactor is operating because there is no need for people to be under there at that time. Those areas are normally locked to prevent people from entering unless we shut down and verify radiation levels are very low. Now I’m sure that birds could fly into these spaces if they wanted to but in all the times that I have been down there, I have never seen any bird carcasses that would surely be present if they inhabited the area. Could a crow fly through there momentarily and still live? Most likely. Would it mutate? No! Could the bird’s offspring be mutated? It is a possibility. Crowzilla could possibly be the result of a mutation caused by the radiation from the reactors, creating a crow that is larger and stronger than its predecessors.

Now, I’m not trying to say that nuclear power is dangerous and that we should shut it down! I’d be out of a job if I was saying that. Nuclear power actually generates less radiation (when properly shielded) and creates no greenhouse gases compared to a conventional coal burning power plant. The radiation that I receive in a month on board a nuclear powered ship from the reactor is (on average) thirty times less than what I get from the earth and the sun naturally! Nuclear reactors can’t explode like an atomic weapon. Sure, there have been a couple of meltdowns (Three Mile Island and Chernobyl) but lessons on reactor design and operation have been learned and continue to be trained on from those accidents and the loss of life in Chernobyl was due to misinformed military and citizens about the affects of radiation when the Russians were trying to clean up the mess. Just like anything else in life, including coal power plants, problems with nuclear power can occur if not properly maintained and watched over. As far as I know, no mutations have been born and survived past childhood from the affects of nuclear radiation from nuclear power plants.

The giant crows of the New York prototypes may not be Crowzilla and are certainly not freaks of nature by any means. However, the mythical status of the giant bird beast will continue to live on in the minds of the wildly imaginative nuclear reactor operators who thought of it. Nuclear power is an environmentally safe means of power generation that we should all consider in our future of dwindling resources. It isn’t perfect, but then, nothing ever is. In Darwin’s eyes, Crowzilla is hardly the perfect crow.